I will lead a new resistance movement arousing the British people as only I can to throw off the undemocratic tyranny of the abominable Brexiteers. I promise to lead the nation back to where it rightly belongs, at the heart of Europe, somewhere near Prague.
The former leader of the Labour Party made his declaration at the annual conference of the Goldman Sachs and Related Trades Union in Jersey.
Are we to abandon our long and close relationship with Uzbekistan and Hungary and allow the British people to be misled by by these deceitful demagogues of disaster who have conned the people by their lies and deceit into voting against their own interests and turning the ship of state into a frightening war torn world which even I haven't been able to lead onto the ways of peace. Are we to risk the support, cooperation and prosperity which the European Union brings and miss out on the benefits of the Gallileo satellite guidance system and the European army?
I know well that the British people are too badly informed and stupid to know their own interests. They must be allowed to vote again and deliver the verdict all right thinking people want . That can only be to go back to the support and economic strength which the Eurozone has brought to Germany and the benefits it brings to Greece.
I have mobilised the full resources of Mandelson Associates, the Euro MPs Benevolent Society and the Junker Foundation to compile a powerful and objective Dossier written up by the respected historian Alastair Campbell This accurately describes the disasters which must befall Britain if Brexit is allowed to go ahead.
The City of London will be destroyed within 45 minutes. Billions of pounds, many of them mine, will leave the country. European medicine and science will be closed to us so bubonic plague will spread and excluded from the Schengen area our people will have nowhere to take refuge from the vengeful Roma who'll batter down our fragile border defences.
I now call on the British people to join me and my all party coalition with Paddy Ashdown and John Major in our rage at the dying of the Euro light and restore the full democracy of rule by those born to know the way the Nation's interest, and our own.Kill Brexit. Give the EU control and let us march together to wherever America wants us to be.