Special CAP Brexitfast on arrival : German sausages, French butter, Danish Bacon and Belgian sauce all at CAP prices.
Tour of marble palaces you've paid for.
Lunch in a famous fish restaurant serving British fish stolen by CFP
Drinks reception with Jean Claude Junker. You will be able to show your gratitude by buying Jean Claude several drinks.
Speech from Nigel Farage (if available)
Lecture on the Joys of Membership (allow two hours)
Evening you can choose between the EU Parliament or a visit to a Brussels strip club
Every visitor will be given a letter of comfort allowing them to pay taxes in Luxembourg at the Duchy's special one per cent rate.
Night: return to Britain on Eurostar (Britons pay own fare) or on foot with two nights camping in Calais.