Sunday, 22 May 2016

A scare a day keeps BREXIT at bay

 David Cameron has a cunning plan for winning the referendum. Each day a new interest group will announce that their members want to stay in the EU for any reason they can think of. Friday the Luvvies and writers, Saturday the big grocery chains like Asda and Tesco. Next week still to come: The Seaside landladies, the Beekeepers, the Dog Walkers (particularly Dachshunds) the White Van Drivers, the Stamp Collectors (particularly those specialising in Luxembourg), The Fretworkers and the photographers (we Leica) Still a few slots left. Register Now!!!

Unfortunately the  "Rally for Europe" explanatory pack which the interest groups get to help them with reasons for the views they don't have, doesn't tell them what to say. It's difficult for them to speak with the same precision as the Treasury which has the gift of prophecy and the skill to tell us the precise amount we'll lose by leaving (a loss- two hundred thousand pounds per house in London or five pounds fifty and the closure of their outside lavatories in the North) so we get some very odd claims.The Luvvies couldn't really think of any reason why EU membership  would help actors or authors so they waffled on  about having to change the Merchant of Venice  to Merchant of Grimsby and M Junker reading less Shakespeare when he's sober.

The big super markets were even more confused. France, they whined, would refuse to take British lamb which I would have thought would bring the price down. The French would refuse to send us their over priced food forcing us to buy more cheaply elsewhere. The security services want to maintain the kind of cooperation the Belgians showed on terrorism (or when they refused to supply bullets to the British army in the Falklands) while the Generals can tell us what a big help the EU was when we invaded Iraq while Alistair Darling says the EU will protect us from another recession like 2008, even if it didn't in 2008.

 I await each new horror with rising terror. It'll be worse than 1940.Without Hitler .Saint Junker preserve us!

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